To the Women - Love Your Lover!

I’m an advocate reader of Christian blogs, article, books or pretty much whatever I can get my hands on that helps me grow in my faith.   I recently ran past this article by Dennis Rainey's Thirty Ways to Love Your Lover.  The article was addressed to "the men" but can be easy turned around and looked upon as to "the women."  

What I admire most about the article is the way he expresses these acts of affirmation, which are all nonsexual.  I know they say men have a one track minds but they also have feelings and need to feel praiseworthy. Romance isn't just a woman thing - it's our thing.  

With Valentine's Day just passing us, man all over the world have gone out and brought flowers, cards, candy, showing her more appreciation than when the basketball game is on.  The truth is Valentine's isn't just about women.  Men should be overly appreciated and showered with affection.  It's not to late ladies!

Mr. Rainey's article pointed out a few key nonsexual things you can do to appreciated your wife.  I have taken his article and wrote to the women.  Enjoy!

Dennis: Hug and kiss her every morning before leaving the house.    

Keisha:  The saying, "Life is too short." is one I keep in the back of my mind.  Whether my husband and I had a disagreement the night prior, we still go to bed with a kiss, wake up with a kiss, leave the house with a kiss, and as soon as he walks through the door - he walks over for a kiss.  This is our routine.  

Dennis: Call her from work and say, "I've been thinking of how good I have it with you in my life. Thanks for all that you are as a woman and all that you do for me and our family."

Keisha:  Your man would like an ego boost especially if his life's routine consist of working hard, head of household and provider and not in that order.  A simple "Thank you!” "You're Handsome!” or "All I need is GOD, you and my family - what could be better." Little sayings go a long way.  Validation is essential in a family. As a result, a husband will develop a sense of security and self-worth in his relationship with each family member.

Dennis: Go an entire day without criticizing anything about her. Instead, try to notice her doing something that you really appreciate, and tell her how much you value her.  

Keisha:  Dennis, my friend, this one is a list topper.  Giving value to your husband will be one of the greatest gifts he receives.  Seeing his positives shining bright will change how you view his negatives. Tell him you may not understand everything he goes through as a man but you appreciate and support him with all your heart.  The feeling of measuring up will help him grow in his role as a husband and father.

Dennis:  Initiate daily prayer with her. This one spiritual discipline has transformed millions of marriages. Make a commitment, and then begin to pray together every day. Begin by giving thanks for her and your family, and then pray with her about her worries and challenges. Ask her to pray for you about a challenge you are facing.  

Keisha:  I love this idea.  My husband and I are of different religions but that doesn't stop us from praying.  I have committed to reading a passage from the bible to him each night or discussing what I plan to write in my Sunday blog so he and I can have a full understand before I unleash it to the world. We not only give thanks to each other but to our Heaven Father for each other and our family.  

Dennis:  When the alarm goes off in the morning, wrap your arm around her, press your body next to hers, and cuddle for several minutes. When you leave, say, "I wish I didn't have to go."

Keisha:  Don't go! Stay in the bed 5 more minutes and hold him to you.  The kids will be breaking the door down soon.

Dennis:  The morning after making love, touch her tenderly, and tell her how wonderful it was to be with her.  

Keisha: Or let's make love again because I can't get enough of you.

Dennis:  With your wife in the room, tell your kids, "You've got the best mommy in the world. Isn't she great? I just love her so much."

Keisha:  Showing appreciation.  Reward your husband while the kids are listening.  Make a big deal about how handsome he his, his coming home early to help with dinner, they way he takes care of the family and most important his love for God. The importance of praising him in front of your kids is that you are saying, "I don't disrespect your father and my expectation is that you respect and love him."  

As a woman, you play many roles but do not hesitate to show your husband an abundance of love. Like Mr. Rainey, I will quote Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV): "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." For the women, I will remind you that Ephesians 5: 22-23 (NIV) Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

Learn to love each other as Christ loves us all.

Excerpt taken from Dennis Rainey's Thirty Ways to Love Your Lover.  Visit Mr. Rainey's website FamilyLife.com.